Oh god, my last post here was back in 2016. It's been more than a year and I'm still struggling than ever and gaining weight.
I had to go back to writing here because I feel like I lost myself. Again.
I never really thought of being a writer as a profession. Honestly, it's still a wild concept that I'm actually writing for a living. I feel like I fulfilled a part of me when I was so in love with writing back in high school that I wanna be a journalist or a novelist. I'm nowhere near that, but what the heck? I got published and my name is included in the masthead of some major publication.
I never really considered myself as great writer. I still lack. I'm not well read. My attention span can't even finish two pages of a novel these days. But I'm trying, I swear. I'm trying to read more books and articles to improve myself as a writer.
I wanna get better. We all do, right? I finally got a job, but alongside with that, my depression came back. It suddenly hit me that I don't have time for myself anymore and I lost the time I used to dedicate in loving myself. I wanna have time to practice my art and give time for learning film. I gained tons of weight. I never wrote for myself anymore. I wanna be selfish for myself, for once. (Virgo rising activate)
I promised myself that I wanna learn more about film and apply to film school after two years. It's been seven months since I graduated, I wanna get better.
I wanna get better; a better writer, a better person, a better daughter, a better artist. I constantly struggle being consistent. I guess that the only thing I'm consisted on-- being inconsistent. This has been my problem all along.
During one of Bojack Horseman's season finale, I stumbled upon this quote. It's definitely my fave quote from the entire series and I felt I really needed it. Either being a writer, a wannabe filmmaker, losing weight, or loving myself-- I hope it'll get easier.
So here's to all the unfinished projects, series I wanna finish, movies I wanna see and make, and self-love plans I was invest into-- we may all get done.
I had to go back to writing here because I feel like I lost myself. Again.
I never really thought of being a writer as a profession. Honestly, it's still a wild concept that I'm actually writing for a living. I feel like I fulfilled a part of me when I was so in love with writing back in high school that I wanna be a journalist or a novelist. I'm nowhere near that, but what the heck? I got published and my name is included in the masthead of some major publication.
I never really considered myself as great writer. I still lack. I'm not well read. My attention span can't even finish two pages of a novel these days. But I'm trying, I swear. I'm trying to read more books and articles to improve myself as a writer.
I wanna get better. We all do, right? I finally got a job, but alongside with that, my depression came back. It suddenly hit me that I don't have time for myself anymore and I lost the time I used to dedicate in loving myself. I wanna have time to practice my art and give time for learning film. I gained tons of weight. I never wrote for myself anymore. I wanna be selfish for myself, for once. (Virgo rising activate)
I promised myself that I wanna learn more about film and apply to film school after two years. It's been seven months since I graduated, I wanna get better.
I wanna get better; a better writer, a better person, a better daughter, a better artist. I constantly struggle being consistent. I guess that the only thing I'm consisted on-- being inconsistent. This has been my problem all along.
During one of Bojack Horseman's season finale, I stumbled upon this quote. It's definitely my fave quote from the entire series and I felt I really needed it. Either being a writer, a wannabe filmmaker, losing weight, or loving myself-- I hope it'll get easier.
So here's to all the unfinished projects, series I wanna finish, movies I wanna see and make, and self-love plans I was invest into-- we may all get done.
